Homeschool Associates - Socialization

Pg 143: Grop "UP"

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 12:00:28 -0500

Socialization

How do children learn to get along with others? By having 7-year-olds watch 7-year-olds get along with other 7-year-olds?

Or, do children learn better by watching adults get along with adults? You see, if children are expected to grow up, the operative word is up.

Grow up -- they should be moving up -- observing people who are older, wiser, who have solid, est

Pg 142: Not natural, the classroom

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 11:47:48 -0500

Socialization

There’s nothing natural about placing a child in a classroom.

There is nothing natural about taking a 5-year-old and giving her over to strangers for 6 or 7 hours a day -- to spend 6 or 7 hours a day with multiple children you don’t know, with backgrounds you don’t know, with behaviors you don’t know. That’s not natural, and it is not good.

Think about it -- the 5-year-old leaves home at 8, gets home at 3. She goes to bed at 7:30 and tomorrow she does it all over again. We’re talking about a 5-year-old.

Pg 141: Stephen at daddy's work

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 11:42:17 -0500

Socialization

When my son was 4 years old, I was a social worker at Maine’s institution for the mentally retarded. I am a huge advocate for the mentally retarded.

On a day off, I brought my son with me to the campus. I wondered, “Wouldn’t it be great if my son could come to work with me everyday?"

Wow! What would happen to this 4-year-old if he were placed in a residence hall with other like-functioning children? What would my son be like if he spent 8 hours a day with mentally retarded children? I believe he would acquire their behaviors: he would talk retarded, walk retarded, eat retarded, act retarded.

Pg 140: Functionally retarded

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 11:41:48 -0500

Socialization

In the 1970’s, I worked as a social worker for the State of Maine. My case load consisted of 28 adult, aggressive, locked, male, mentally retarded, institutionalized residents.

The institution was under Federal court order to out-place the residents into more normal environments, such as group homes.

As I researched the backgrounds of some of these men, I discovered that

Pg 125: Girl's skirt in 5th grade

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 08:49:05 -0500

Socialization

An intensely religious family brought their 5th grade daughter to my office to set up a homeschooling program. They had moved to Maine only a few months before and the daughter had attended public school.

Why did they want to homeschool? Since she wore a skirt to school every day, the kids teased her and the boys would get behind her in the hall and pull up her skirt. This drove the girl to tears almost daily. And the boys go

Pg 124: "That's the reason I homeschool!"

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 08:48:42 -0500

Socialization

After a public hearing on homeschooling, one of the homeschooling fathers was confronted about his decision to homeschool.

When the attack included socialization, he retorted, “Are you kidding, socialization is the REASON we homeschool!”

Pg 113: "It was good enough for you..."

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 08:07:35 -0500

Socialization

Listen to the detractors of homeschoolers, and you will hear something like this: “Well, I came out alright. Why isn’t school good enough for your kid?'

So when the grandparents slip that phrase “it was good enough for you” into the conversation, you can gently tell them that the local school board just hired a 2nd full-time armed policeman for your high school. And you can mention that all the g

pg 096: Could you homeschool me?

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 06:56:06 -0500

Socialization

In the Middle School years, my son played on the public Middle School football team. Since we had to deliver him and pick him up daily, we offered other team members rides.

After a few weeks of practices, one of the players asked, “Mr. Tozo, is it true Stephen doesn’t go to school?” We explained how homeschooling worked. He seemed intrigued, but mostly contemplative.

In the next few days, the student asked more and more questions. That Friday afternoon, he asked the ultimate favor, “Mr.

Pg 092: Praise Jesus!

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 06:21:32 -0500

Socialization

I once heard a mother defend her decision to homeschool.

When attacked with the familiar question, “What about socialization?” she replied, “My children are not socialized, they are civilized."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Another mother had a unique and decisive way to defend the socialization issue.

When cornered about socialization, one of t

Pg 089: Bonding vs. banding

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 17:59:35 -0500

Socialization

The ancient culture decided that children were to remain with their parents for about the first 13 years (e.g., Jewish culture, bar mitzvah, manhood).

The modern culture has determined that should be extended to 18 years, the legal age to sign contracts, enter the military, etc.

Those 13 - 18 years are set aside so children can BOND with their parents. Learn from them, be with them, watch them, hear them, go with them, do things with them. Bonding.

Instead, we have parents who take a three month maternity leave, then begin turning their children over to others and put them into groups of peers to watch, hear, and be with. This goes on for 13 years, so, instead of BONDING with the parents, these children are BANDING with their peers.

Bonding vs.

Pg 088: Police in schools

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 17:54:27 -0500

Socialization

I was speaking at a homeschool convention. After I had presented a workshop, one father came to me and said, “If the socialization in school is so good, how come they have uniformed police officers in the halls, metal-detectors on the way in, and drug-sniffing dogs do random searches of the lockers?"

He went on to say, “And these measures aren’t temporary! The police offic

Pg 080: "Abuse" vs. "Observe"

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 14:04:05 -0500

Socialization

My niece earned her degree in education. During her practicum, she was assigned to a first grade class with the regular, experienced teacher.

During the parent-teacher night, one of the mothers confronted her and said, “My daughter tells me you are abusing the class.” Another mother added, “Yes, my daughter told me the same thing. You are abusing the class."

Pg 056: Beat up every morning

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 12:56:45 -0500

Socialization

I was speaking at a homeschool convention. After I had given the workshop entitled, “Fathers Only,” one father came to me and told me how he handles socialization.

With tongue-in-cheek and a straight face, he said, “Yup, we socialize our kids just like they’d get in school -- every morning we corner them in the bathroom, beat them up, take their lunch money, and try to sell them drugs.”

Pg 055: Same, same same....

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 12:52:44 -0500

Socialization

Real-world socialization is NOT learned in the 13 years of public school when the same students are put into the same rooms at the same time of day under the same instructors to do the same things to get the same results just because the students are all about the same age.

That is not socialization, that is isolation.

My homeschooled children were brought up in the real world with real people doing real things that really matter. My children were not restricted to classroom-based socialization.

Pg 054: Growing tomatoes in Maine

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 12:50:44 -0500

Socialization

We grow tomatoes in Maine, but we do not put the seeds directly into the ground. We put the seed in a little container, we control the soil, we control the water, we control the sunlight, and we control the heat. We control all of the elements that produce growth and we do not leave these to chance.

As the tomato plant grows, we watch and discern its survivability. When the roots grow deep enough and the stem grows thi